Almost a year ago I found myself at a crossroad, although I seemed completely healed I knew that I needed some time.  Time to heal my heart from my daughter’s death and time to heal my brain from my cerebral hemorrhage.

When my daughter died I felt numb, and to feel something I threw myself into my work thinking that it would get better if I kept myself busy and pretended to be ok.

Well I was wrong.

When I had my hemorrhage, the doctors told my wife to call the family because I was going to die that night.
 
You know, its funny how sometimes words that are so negative can turn out so positive. Those words are what gave me the strength to fight. How the hell could I die after what just happened with my daughter? What would happen to my family? I was not about to put my family through 2 deaths in a span of 4 months.

My daughter was always on my mind but my focus now had to be healing myself so that I wouldn’t cause my family any more pain than they already had. I could barely walk and my speech was just as bad, but somehow I had to appear strong and normal for my family.
 
It was a two-and-a-half year struggle to act as if my brain was thinking properly, when in fact, it was a tangled mess. I pulled it off really well, everybody thought I was just fine, but the reality was that I had to fight for every thought.

I finally reached a point where I couldn’t hold it together any more. I would find myself crying when I would talk about my daughter and this is when I knew I had to pull back and heal. I had already been working on Smile and a Wave Day for a little while, but I knew that it could be bigger than just me running around getting people to sign a petition to get it put on the calendar.
 
So I pulled back to fix a broken me. To give myself the time I never took to heal my heart. As I held the intention to heal, I also held the intention to revamp myself into someone that would really make a difference in the world. I was tired of being the guy that had great intentions, but, didn’t know what to do with them.

Pulling back was the best thing I could have ever done. My heart still aches for my daughter but I am better able to channel it into something positive and as far as my intention to revamp myself into someone who will make a difference in the world I will let my website do the talking for me.

Sometimes when you’re in the middle of a battle you just need to pull back and heal in order to win, because if you don’t and just continue the fight you get tired and give up. My motto is never give up, never surrender! 
 
Here is my new website address, please visit it; I would love to know what your feed back is, so be sure to let me know! http://www.smileandwaveamerica.com

What do you think?  I know Eddy and knew him through part of his ordeal without being aware of his suffering.  What I always saw was a human being with incredible passion for bringing  joy and spirit with a  smile, a wave and a funny and silly pink fluffy bunny costume while sharing words of hope and inspiration through his own life experience. 

Eddy teaches us is not about the lemons, but it is all about the awesome lemonade we can make with the lemons …and with those whom we can share the lemonade with! 

 I salute you Mr. Smile and Wave for your leadership and integrity for living your life’s passion.  Love you

How many agree when you believe you have something to bring forth that will make a difference, most people are  not there shouting along with you? 

How many people stand behind you to support you on that  journey you envision?  And how many choose fear and doubt over your reflection of whom you can be or  your idea over what you can create?

Who represents the world anyway?

The status quo never wants to pull away.  Change is not becoming to those who do not want to do the work it takes to make change happen.  It is easier to be complacent and to accept,complaining about what is not right,  than take ownership and responsibility for the results we’ve helped to create.

It is much easier to talk about something, than to do something about it.

Many people like to standby on the sides of the game and judge the players in the ring.  Those who point the finger usually rely on the movements of others to create a self-projected podium from which to judge, accuse, belittle and ridicule those who are attempting to create and make a change, or at least to believe in themselves and their own unique light.

The world does not teach us to let our light shine.  The world teaches us how to be fearful.  It teaches us how to avoid failure by not even given it a go.  It teaches us to doubt our first-beginnings.  It teaches us to fear consequences and results because we tried something and it did not exactly turn out the way we wanted it to. 

The world does not teach one how to model, or to shift paradigms, to recreate meaning and to learn about filters we ourselves use, to create beliefs and values about the world around us.

Fortunately for many, we live in a New Age.  While this word tends to make some squirm simply because they’ve attached meaning and symbolism to it, the fact is we are in the information era where we now have access to an universe-filled with information to learn, to grow, to advance and to evolve.

What I most remark in this New Age is that indeed we must “Let Our Light Shine.”  The world depends on us to uncover our gifts, our specialties, and the potential God has equipped us with.  And we must insist on ourselves to persevere, overcome, redirect and continue on striving toward seeing our true selves revealed…no matter what!!!

Only we bring that special gift we’re here to manifest.  And we must first believe in ourselves before we can expect the world to believe in us.

In the words of  one Howard Aiken; the inventor of the Mark I computer  (1944); - ”Don’t worry about people stealing your ideas.  If your ideas are any good, you’ll have to ram them down people’s throats.”

“Let YOUR Light Shine” and believe in the world you carry in your own head.

What happens when you align the inner self with one’s outer purpose?

What happens when you step up and commit to becoming that which you see is possible even if it means leaving behind all previous patterns, conditioning, beliefs, inconsistencies and hang-ups?

Not easy to do, but doable after all.

We’ve all heard it before, “change is not easy.”  Many would actually say and vehemently state “change is not possible,” “you can’t teach a dog new tricks,”  “can’t change the stripes on a zebra;”  all of these make sense but do not really state was is possible for human beings?

Change is our nature.  We are brought into changing everyday.  Unfortunately we are not given all the tools to work with when we begin.  Many of these tools are learned along the way.  If we get burned, we  learn even faster.   However when pain accompanies the lesson, the foundation for that learning moment becomes embedded in our soul and psyche making it a challenge to ever think or feel anything different can ever take place.

“The Past does not equal the Present….unless you live there.”  How many people want change, but fail to step up to the challenge?  This is what free-will is all about.  We choose what we do with the lessons we learn.   It is better to use them to our advantage than to let them use us. 

I always say ‘when you catch a hot potatoe, send it back; don’t stay with it.”  Failing to use our past lessons in a way that will empower our present and future means we’ve only lived the worst part and failed to invite and pursue the best part of the learning tool.

Let’s make something of what appears to be nothing…this is where the gold lies within.

Without an awakening to the power of a higher force paving and creating energy in our path, we walk without a compass.

We engage without knowing why, how or how come?

We loose without understanding the reward.  We fear without facing growth.  We give up without uncovering faith and possibility.

Without God we give other human beings power over our identity.

We give “things’ unbounded influence over our sense of self.

We underestimate our gifts, insight, unique ability.

We fail to recognize our purpose, our foundation, our perfect essence.

How empty and ordinary life can become, withou a glistening path of hope, illumination, vision, belief and love lifting the human spirit into a higher sphere.

Why is God important?

It is challenging because we have not been taught to deal with challenge.  To face adversity and to deal with difficulties in an empowered way.

If your life is not a model of what you want it 2Be,

Your family relationship is not what you wish it could Be,

Your future does not yet have a vision of a dream you see within,

You MUST raise your standards for your life.

Engage awareness, take action, create momentum.  Commit to your growth and jump forward by learning and equipping yourself with the skills to handle options and opportunities in your life.

Only you have the power to disengage from your own limiting beliefs, change what is not working, remove negative recurring patterns, and propell your life forward.

You must first be willing  to take a chance and open up to what is available.

Embrace the possibilities for bringing out who you truly are.  Show the world your God-given essence.  Become the leader you have the capacity 2Be.  Don’t succumb to everyone else’s small-minded opinions and judgements about who you should be and how you should be.

We have all been gifted by God with an unique personal essence.

Remove yourself from the prongs that keep you in bondage and allow yourself the freedom 2 BeU!

Defend your life by being true to your CORE

No matter your life story, where you have been, or your present conditions, you have the power of choice, power of knowledge, and power of being to shift your life circumstances in a positive direction.

With God’s insight and power, you have the ability to think bigger and greater than ever before.  It is your choice…

Embrace it once and for all, and be the vision your mind sees and heart knows you are.

The option and solution to change your present is yours.

 Today we watched you go.  In your loving memory, 5,300 miles away we watched.  From the Staples Center in Los Angeles and Bel-Air, to the grassroots streets in Palm Beach and Belle Glade.

Rendering Homage to his brother, Jermaine renders and unforgettable "Smile."

 Collectively, we heard the message in your lyrics, the soul behind your words.   The love you gave the world around you, now it is up to everyone of us. 

 Here in Belle-Glade, Florida, the community regarded as third-world.  Children go to school not wearing footwear, people living in the underworld.

 Across town, Rolls-Royces and Bentleys pass the newly built,  $154 Million City Hall.

 For there to be a difference in the world, we must follow what you sang about.  Start by looking at the mirror and ask if we can change our way.

 True reform is available if we are all willing to take a stand.  Not accepting status-quo and convention, but rather collective interest for the underbelly no one talks about.  Take a look at yourself and make a change!

 Many glorious gifts are certain; the sun tomorrow will rise again.  The trees will continue swaying, and your spiritual essence will make our world a better place.

 From here on in, we must remember your advice.  Start by looking at the mirror and ask if you can change your way.

 In parting, you too can S-M-I-L-E Michael, for you accomplished what your spirit came to say.   “Heal the world, make it a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race.  There are people dying, if you care enough for the living.  Make a better place for you and for me.”

Sharing his love for Michael in front of the world.

 Together, we will make a difference.   And we’ll do it in your name.  Amen!

Rise 2Win 4 OUR YOUth Movement

Is it because from the onset, they have seen their own journalistic standars challenged through the TMZ Breaking News Report?  Or is it because producers saw a ratings opportunity they had to be a part of with millions tuning in? 

Is it because the greater-than private life of the largest publicity icon has now been exposed for everyone to see when previously, not many could have dreamt of witnessing  head-on?

Is it because despite the controversy, the exhuberance, the make-up and sparkled sequined $20,000 plus, price-tag  jackets, Michael truly was an exceptional human being gifted beyond any other contemporary recording artist alive?

No matter the views, the critiques, the doubts, Michael’s story is a too-close -for-comfort, blown-up reflection of success and stardom made in America.  If we are honest, we in America  can see our own personal struggle, our own hopes, our wishes and dreams for uniqueness, power, fame, victory, and money all wrapped in one story that ended up in tragedy.  If this can happen to the KING, then what about the rest of us? 

An ending almost too real to understand, to phantom, to imagine the degree of pain such an incredibly gifted talent and visionary prodigy could have been living under.  Makes our own personal issues seem frail, uneventful, and not that challenging or bad afterall.  If this is the exchange to fame, who wants to accept that burden?

In all, details behind his celebrity veil give the rest of man an answer to the price of fame, the price of living for material gain, for befriending individuals with no spiritual connection for had there been more of these around Michael, perhaps he would have gotten help and even would have learned to love himself the way millions love him.

The specifics with his years of pain and struggle in accepting his identity, of being unable to be at peace with himself, his years of sleep disorders where a Dr. Death was incharge of “putting him down and bringing him back,” makes anyone with a heart empathize with his anguish, sadness and trauma.  No one can blame the drug use for it was all supported by others who knew better.

After all that Michael gave, his philanthrophic contributions, his music and creative force that changed and transformed the music industry, the video world, the black and white integration of soul and pop with lyrics that touched the globe, he remains in all of us a child who was forced to grow in an adult-driven world.

We owe Michael the beautiful feelings he shared with us, the rhythms and messages he’s left behind and the lesson that if we are to make this world a better place, we must look at ourselves and make a change with ourselves first.

For those of us who believe in a higher force, we know Michael is singing and dancing above.  Having seen and experienced the love he fougt for,  we will always appreciate  the  commitment, perfection, and God-given magnificence he shared in his soul with all of us.  He paid a price, but he also lived the passion he was brough to this world for.  May he be resting and glowing in God’s Kingdom Today. 

The world will always miss you Michael; your spirit will live on like you once said.

Hate Bill proponents, (H.R. 1913; Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act of 2009), refuse to define the terms “Gender, Sexual Orientation, and Gender Identity. “  As a result,  deviant sexual activity (behavior), to include 547 different Paraphilias as identified by the American Psychological Association will also be protected.  Some of which are:

• Incest -sex with one’s offspring, a crime
• Necrophilia -sexual relations with a corpse, also a crime
• Pedophilia -sex with an underage child, another crime
• Zoophilia -bestiality, a crime in numerous states
• Voyeurism- a criminal offense in most states
• Fronteurism-which involves a man approaching an unknown woman and rubbing up against her buttocks
• Coprophilia-sexual arousal from feces
• Urophilia-sexual arousal from urine

While the wording of the legislation may allude to a bill that supports keeping the peace, reducing hate crimes and giving equality to anyone who may be a target of a hate crime, true to political arena criticism, truth, justice, honesty and true social welfare is at the mercy of  political agendas, political rhetoric, and individual integrity. 

Keeping the underlying truth marred through filters and smokescreens, provide legislators with an underhanded approach to blanketed lawmaking in “the name of the people.”  This needs to be a focused concern with parents, educators  and all those who want to protect the lives and preserve the innocence of youth.   

Protecting the wellbeing of children from pedophilia and sexual crimes like those we continue to see in the media (Sunday School Teacher, Melissa Huckaby charged with eight-year-old, Sandra Cantu’s murder),  is not about sexual orientation, color, nationality, religion or race.  It is about seeing danger, and keeping danger away from those it targets.  It is also by being clear about what this bill proposes, exposes and defends.

To have U.S. Representative Alcee Hastings say “Mr. Speaker, this bill addresses our resolve to end violence based on prejudice, and to guarantee that all Americans, regardless of race, color, religion, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or disability–or all of these philias and fetishes and isms that were put forward–need not live in fear because of who they are,” I belive is a grave and dangerously irresponsible and  undermining   social welfare shortcoming on his part.  http://tinyurl.com/alceehastingsHR1913

Urging the passage of the bill, saying it would help end violence based on prejudice and hate, would not encourage people to report hate crimes or reduce gun violence.   Rather it would ensure that “all of these -philias and fetishes and -isms that were put forward, will live on and be protected and supported in an era where ill and evil perpetrated by conscientious adults, will continue raping the livelihoods of children and youth in America.

American citizens cannot allow themselves to be fooled by blanketed laws that appear to be rightful in standing for equality and rights for all, while it undermines the safety and moral standards of those who repect humanity and moral decency, this includes heterosexuals, gays, blacks, whites, all nationalities, religions, philosophies and creeds. 

Morality, integrity, responsibility and accountability is the foundation of true social welfare reform and collective evolution.  Irrespective of who we are and what group or political agenda we represent, one idea is sure; we must protect the lives of our children and do so by being vigilant and proactive in the face of danger, no matter the race, color, or sexual orientation.

To continue ignoring wrongdoing, shortcomings, abuse, ineptness, complacency, mediocrity, and self-serving agendas from the part of social and community organizations, its leaders and employees, hurts all of us.  Those who fail to address the matter so it be rectified, participate in preserving that which is hurting our children, our schools, our healthcare facilities, our families, and our being.  Left alone, that downfall will only continue spiralling downward.

The power to stand and make a difference lies in the individual commitment to believe in doing what is right without fear of retribution.  With skills and strategies to reach the masses, that power becomes real. 

Interested parties are to go to www.rise2win.com and see WRITE IT, PRINT IT, SELL IT; How To Get The Book Inside You out! Masterclass, taking place Saturday, June 6th in WPB.  Outside of then, you can go to www.writeitprintitsellit.com and contact the /author/trainor/coach directly.   Be empowered with the skills to get your educational materials to the masses.  Knowledge alone is not power.  Knowledge and action equals power!  Get on it!  People need to know the truth…the real truth of the matters we’re facing.

I’ve been on this journey for 41 years.  Always believing in God, knowing that he existed.   Acting, choosing, and deciding my “fate” with an underlying awareness that God was always there, supporting me and guiding me.  Indeed I always saw God as a magnificent entity way up above me, watching over me, even when my behavior and activities were not necessarily correct or honorable.

Then one day, about four years ago, I had a serious awakening and a revelation  thanks to a series of broken relationships, and  one surprisingly shattered dream. 

It took my crying out to God in wonderment of  WHY this was hurting so much, for me to realize that I had not been using my body in the way God intended.  I openly and humbly accepted that I had sinned.  I had been foolishly sharing the best from within;  my heart, my dreams, my desires to make a difference in the world, in an outward package of lust, passion, and physical exhuberance, which presented the wrong message and led me to always feeling undervalued and, in the process, subconsciously abused.  I hadn’t caught on until then.

To my surprise, I realized that  God was not a separate being from me, lying above me outside of this cosmos, but rather God was inside me; lying in the seat of my soul; the most precious, delicate and beautiful part of who I was.   And I came to the realization that my physical being was what protected that beautiful part inside me called God, which all of us equally have.  I also realized it was my duty and priviledge to protect and honor God’s spirit inside my soul.  I was its gatekeeper!   My CORE was God’s spirit and now all the pain felt, made sense.  I understood WHY.

This awareness was the turning point to my life.  I was born-again and I finally understood in my own flesh and soul what those words actually meant.  They became personal.  The journey was personal.  I no longer wanted to follow the same path.  I no longer wanted to engage in what was externally and physically becoming to me.  I wanted to exercise discretion, decorum, self-control and reservation.  I wanted to honor myself and value who I was, rather than seek approval and significance from someone outside of me that could not see what I had been trying to share.

My life started following a different road.  Not an easy road.  Two months later I would be tested, and I would fall.